“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.
Ex 20:12, NKJV
And so, we find ourselves leaving the commandments that are focused fully on our relationship with the Holy One, and moving into the commandments related to our outward relationships with other human beings. Notice that I used the word “fully” above. It is with great care that I maintain some focus on the remaining commandments as they relate back to God for two reasons; first, they are God’s commands and His Word and as such, all of them ultimately point back to our relationship to Him. But this particular commandment has a special place in the human-God relationship, and it is possibly the reason that God selected this specific commandment to follow those focused fully on Himself. Let’s explore this thought.
Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
And God said, “See, I have given you every herb that yields seed which is on the face of all the earth, and every tree whose fruit yields seed; to you it shall be for food. Also, to every beast of the earth, to every bird of the air, and to everything that creeps on the earth, in which there is life, I have given every green herb for food”; and it was so. Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good.
Genesis 1:26-31, NKJV
We all have human parents. This seems to be a fairly obvious statement. But have you ever thought about the first man, Adam? Or the first mother, Eve? Who were their parents? Were they conceived and birthed like you and I? No, it is clear that they were specially created. No human father, and no human mother. But God created each of us with a need for the teaching and guidance of a father and mother. Sadly, many of my readers may have grown up with incomplete, inadequate or harmful parental involvement. But this does not diminish the need for such relationships. So if Adam and Eve had no human parents, then who played that role? Let’s explore this question.
Adam and Eve, the father and mother of the human race, needed to be raised and taught just like you and I. But their source of knowledge and skill was infinitely greater than our earthly parents. They were raised and tutored by the Creator of the Universe. And it’s this relationship – between the Creator and His human creation, that establishes the perfect prototypical pattern for the parental relationship. The Father God created Adam and Eve to be parents and to raise their children much as He raised them.
Unfortunately, it did not quite work out in the ideal way. Adam and Eve learned the sadness of rebellious children when their son Cain murdered his brother Abel in a fit of envy. They were then forced to go through tremendous heartache similar to that pain God had endured when His children, Adam and Eve rebelled. And the results, while significantly different in scope, were very similar; Adam and Eve had essentially murdered the human race. Have you ever contemplated this truth? We tend to look at Cain as the first murderer, and generally speak his name with a certain amount of disdain. And yet he was simply following the footsteps of his earthly father:
Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”
…
Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?”
And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.'”
Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.
Genesis 2:15-17, 3:1-7, NKJV
We have looked at this passage many times before. We’ve examined it from the standpoint of the fall of mankind, the introduction of the plan of salvation, and from other perspectives as well. But we have not yet fully examined the stated consequence of the original command.
“Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”
There is much theology packed into this verse. And many debates have accompanied its interpretation. We will not enter into any of these debates at this point. But it is important to understand that the consequence of breaking this commandment was a shortening of the dominion and blessing of mankind on earth. God’s “original plan” was to commune with His beloved creation in a perfect state here on the earth, and have them fill the role of leadership as His proxy over the world. Notice God’s first recorded instructions to Adam and Eve:
So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
Genesis 1:27-28, NKJV
(For those that are bothered by my use of the words “original plan”, please recognize that God’s plan is always accomplished. Always. It may not come to pass in the immediacy of the present, but He works all things together to ensure the fulfillment of His perfect plan. This is a difficult concept that we have touched on in the past; my readers would do well to take up a personal study of this concept and see where the Lord’s leading takes you!)
But God’s “original plan” was thwarted by sin. Adam’s rebellion, through the eating of the forbidden fruit, caused a break in the communion between the Creator and the creation. And it resulted in ultimate death – the death of the human race. This death was more than physical; its nature extended into the much more significant – and eternal – spiritual realm. It was this rebellious act by the human father of our race (Adam) that drove a need for our redemption.
We have been focusing on the consequence of breaking the original commandment: “Do not eat”. Breaking this commandment resulted in death. With this as a backdrop, let us now return to the commandment under study:
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.
Exodus 20:12, NKJV
Do you see the change in perspective? In this case, we are not given the consequence of breaking the commandment; instead, we are given the blessings of keeping the command! And notice the linkage back to the original command:
- Genesis 2: Obey my command (as your Father) or you will die.
- Exodus 20: Honor your parents that your life may be long!
Do you see why this command has a special place in our relationship to God? It harkens back to the original relationship that He had with us as His creation at the beginning of our existence! In essence, it is THE transitional commandment between those focusing on our relationship with Him and those focusing on our relationships with each other. Suddenly, this seemingly benign commandment has gained great importance in God’s ultimate direction for our lives! Selah.
Let us now examine this commandment in just a little more depth. What does it really mean to “honor” our father and mother? Let’s take a look at this important word.
The word used for “honor” is an interesting word. It is כָּבַד (kabad), and it means to “make weighty”. This primary thought has two meanings; one good and one bad. In the “bad” sense, it means: burdensome, severe, dull); and in the “good” sense: numerous, rich, honorable. (Taken from Biblesoft’s New Exhaustive Strong’s Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright © 1994, 2003, 2006 Biblesoft, Inc. and International Bible Translators, Inc.)
As is our custom when studying a new topic, let’s take a look at the first mention of this word, kabad:
And Abram was very rich (kabad) in livestock, in silver, and in gold.
Genesis 13:2, NKJV
Do you see the primary meaning of this word? It is actually the weightiness of earthly riches! While “honor” is indeed a concept that exists in both the physical and psychological domains, its first and primary biblical use is physical. Does this surprise you? If so, let us take a look at our Lord’s teaching around this commandment:
He said to [the scribes and Pharisees], “All too well you reject the commandment of God, that you may keep your tradition. For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.’* But you say, ‘If a man says to his father or mother, “Whatever profit you might have received from me is Corban” — ‘(that is, a gift to God), then you no longer let him do anything for his father or his mother, making the word of God of no effect through your tradition which you have handed down. And many such things you do.”
The Gospel of Mark 7:9-13, NKJV
Do you see it? For many years, I was confused about this passage. I didn’t understand what Jesus meant with this rebuke. Intuitively, it did not make sense to me that the giving of an offering to God could in any way be contrary to the will of God. And I certainly never looked at the giving of money to parents as a fulfillment of the commandment under study. But having since studied the meaning of honor (kabad), I now understand that Jesus was expressly equating the honor of father and mother to the giving of good things to help them physically – and specifically monetarily.
This commandment has now taken on a much more tangible meaning – from the important psychological attribution of honor to the equally important physical manifestation of help and monetary blessing! And how difficult this commandment becomes, for many of us, under this definition. Indeed, the fulfillment of this commandment requires faith – great faith. It seems to be an unwritten principle that, when someone needs our help, we often feel that we are in the least position to be able to provide it. And yet, that is what God has required. But He has graciously provided a blessing with the commandment; in essence, He is saying “Trust Me; follow this principle and I will take care of you.” This is faith in action.
Have you noticed that this thought process parallels another of God’s commands? While we have not yet studied this command, God tells us in the Law that we are required to give back to Him a portion of what He has given us.
And all the tithe of the land, whether of the seed of the land or of the fruit of the tree, is the Lord’s. It is holy to the Lord.
Leviticus 27:30, NKJV
“You shall truly tithe all the increase of your grain that the field produces year by year.”
Deuteronomy 14:22, NKJV
For those that are new to the word tithe, it simply means a tenth. We are required, under the Law, to present a tenth of our earnings back to the Lord as a holy tithe. It is interesting that God’s definition of honor (both toward Himself and toward our parents) starts with the physical and financial realms. And if we allow ourselves to think it through, it makes sense. If we say that we honor Him with our heart and mind, and choose not to do it in the physical realm, then our words are empty. But if we are faithful in the physical, we are so much more likely to be faithful in the spiritual realm as well.
Finally, the driving question that remains is; “If Jesus came to fulfill the Law and the Prophets, did he fulfill this commandment as well; the commandment to honor His Father and mother?” As always, we will let the holy Scripture answer this question, starting from His youth!
So when they [Joseph and Mary] had performed all things according to the law of the Lord, they returned to Galilee, to their own city, Nazareth. And the Child grew and became strong in spirit, filled with wisdom; and the grace of God was upon Him.
His parents went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover. And when He was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem according to the custom of the feast. When they had finished the days, as they returned, the Boy Jesus lingered behind in Jerusalem. And Joseph and His mother* did not know it; but supposing Him to have been in the company, they went a day’s journey, and sought Him among their relatives and acquaintances. So when they did not find Him, they returned to Jerusalem, seeking Him. Now so it was that after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard Him were astonished at His understanding and answers. So when they saw Him, they were amazed; and His mother said to Him, “Son, why have You done this to us? Look, Your father and I have sought You anxiously.”
And He said to them, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” But they did not understand the statement which He spoke to them.
The Gospel of Luke 2:39-50, NKJV
Even at this very early age, Jesus knew who His real Father was, and He knew that to honor Him, He had to be working with Him; and this meant spending time with His Father in His house. To Jesus, honoring God meant to constantly be giving Himself physically, emotionally and spiritually to the doing of His Father’s will. Jesus’ definition of honor includes commitment to the mission of the Father.
Then Jesus answered and said to them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner. For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all things that He Himself does; and He will show Him greater works than these, that you may marvel. For as the Father raises the dead and gives life to them, even so the Son gives life to whom He will. For the Father judges no one, but has committed all judgment to the Son, that all should honor the Son just as they honor the Father. He who does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent Him.
…
“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep. But a hireling, he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them. The hireling flees because he is a hireling and does not care about the sheep. I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own. As the Father knows Me, even so I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep. And other sheep I have which are not of this fold; them also I must bring, and they will hear My voice; and there will be one flock and one shepherd.
“Therefore My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it again. No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This command I have received from My Father.”
The Gospel of John, 5:19-23 10:11-18, NKJV
In Jesus’ case, making His Father God “weighty” with riches meant one thing in particular – the giving not of earthly riches, but the giving of eternal riches to His Father. God already owned all the world’s physical riches. What He did not own was the one thing that He truly wanted – the children of earth. Though God the Father has created all mankind in perfection, each one separates himself from God through following the earthly father (Adam) in sin. And only the greatest price could redeem these children back to Himself – the sacrificial gift of the perfect Son through the spilling of His own blood. And in giving His blood as a perfect ransom, Jesus purchased for God the most precious gift in all eternity – you and me.
And this was the only gift that Jesus could give to His Father that was not easy for Him to give. He knew what awaited Him in this journey, but He also knew that it was the one thing that would give all honor and glory to God:
“Now My soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save Me from this hour’? But for this purpose I came to this hour. Father, glorify Your name.”
Then a voice came from heaven, saying, “I have both glorified it and will glorify it again.”
…
Jesus spoke these words, lifted up His eyes to heaven, and said: “Father, the hour has come. Glorify Your Son, that Your Son also may glorify You, as You have given Him authority over all flesh, that He should* give eternal life to as many as You have given Him. And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent. I have glorified You on the earth. I have finished the work which You have given Me to do. And now, O Father, glorify Me together with Yourself, with the glory which I had with You before the world was.
John 12:27-28, and 17:1-5, NKJV
I am exceedingly thankful that Jesus fulfilled this commandment! It is in fulfilling the commandment to honor your Father and Mother that Jesus gave you and me eternal life with our true Father! Glory be His name!
Let us now take the opportunity to do the same. Let us take up the mission that God has given each of us, and run the race to the finish. In this way, we truly honor our Heavenly Father!
Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
The book of Hebrews 12:1-2, NKJV
May God richly bless you as you seek to honor both your earthly parents and your Heavenly Father in both the physical and spiritual domain. Selah!
YouJi